To honour the Nation's birthday tomorrow, here are a few jokes that I hope you will enjoy (and take them in the good nature manner in which they are meant). Now take off eh!
Two newfies are walking down the street, one with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Darryl asks him, "Hey Larry! Whatcha got that case of beer for? Larry says, "Why I got it for the wife, don't ya know?" "Wow, exclaimed Darryl, "great trade".
A Canadian, Scotsman and American were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but died upon arrival. Just as they were about to put the last of the toe tags on, the American stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors asked him what happened.
"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then, the next thing I know, there was this beautiful light and the gates of heaven. I looked over and saw that the Canadian and Scotsman were there too. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die. "For a donation of $100", he said, "we could return to Earth". So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and here I am.
"That's amazing!" said the doctors, "But what about your friends the Canadian and Scotsman?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scotsman was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his donation."
A little boy needed $100 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, Canada, they decided to send it to the Prime Minister. Paul Martin was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy $5.
The little boy was delighted with the $5 and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: "Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Ottawa, and those assholes deducted $95 in taxes."
Have a good Canada day everyone!!!